If you’re like most men, you’ve probably spent several hours fantasizing about sex. You imagine all sorts of positions and techniques, but, most of all you imagine a scenario where your woman responds so intensely that it all feels like heaven. Even though in your erotic reveries, the main goal is your satisfaction, the picture is somehow incomplete without your partner being satisfied.

What would give your partner utmost satisfaction? What unlocks all her treasuries of passion and intimacy? What sparks up that unquenchable fire in her being that holds most men mesmerised?

To be sure, the passion doesn’t just come in a single blow and leave the same way. With women it is a gradual process culminating in orgasm, which depending on the level of care and attention as well as skilfulness may be weak or very intense. It is so important for men to understand this fact. Ignorance of this fact is basically the cause of the many problems of sexual dissatisfaction in women today. It takes time, concentration and skill for pleasure to build up in women. It also takes time, concentration and immense skill for same to be released for the mutual enjoyment of both partners. The process of attaining these is in one word: foreplay.

For many men, foreplay is not really an issue. Once a man is aroused, he usually experiences his first orgasm within 5-7 minutes of penetrative sex. Not so with women. Women need at least 15 minutes of penetrative sex to experience their first orgasms and at this point most men are rapidly losing steam. If the sexual strength of the male could somehow be preserved and the pleasure quotient in women built up more rapidly, both partners would undoubtedly get more out of sex. Fortunately, this is what foreplay achieves. When the sensitive erogenous zones are stimulated through gentle caressing and other erotic gestures, pleasure builds up rapidly in the woman and the amount of time and physical exertion needed by the male to produce orgasm is much reduced.

Furthermore, intense foreplay usually produces intense orgasms. Many women will at best experience weak orgasms or no orgasms in the absence of foreplay. While most men would rather rush through foreplay and get straight into sex, most women prefer the slow seductive approach. This is because, while most men make use of only their physical faculties during sex, most women indulge both their physical and psycho-emotional faculties during sex. They do not want to feel pushed, harried or forced. They want to feel wanted, worshipped and cherished. Where the psycho-emotional part is undercut or sidelined, sex becomes just another activity, with most women.

Foreplay also builds up intimacy with both partners, which is so, so vital. Many unions collapse today on account of little or no intimacy between both partners. While several activities outside sex can really contribute to intimacy between partners, no other activity reinforces it as much as foreplay. For one, foreplay can be described as the passionate, adventurous exploration of all the sensitive, intimate and erogenous zones and faculties. When it is done with skill, attention and loads of affection, the result is more than mind-blowing.

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